Starting Your Career Fresh Out of College ( 5 Things I learned)

Daily Adventures, Thoughts

So here I was at graduation, happy for the most part, ready to take on the world and mostly excited for what was to come. I had landed a full time offer before graduation and was looking forward to finally be working as an engineer.

As my starting day was approaching, I was feeling increasingly nervous because everyone tells you that college does not prepare you for the real world, that what you do in classes is not what working will look like, or that for the most part you don’t know anything. All of these were true to some extent. At least to me. Let me explain by telling you 5 things I learned about starting a new job out of college.

  1. You really DO not know anything

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that you learned nothing, just that you need to be prepared and be okay with not knowing everything. While what I do is actually very surprisingly similar to what I learned and did in classes, I did not know the ins and outs of things on my first day (obviously). Me being the perfectionist that I am, I totally stressed out about this for no reason. You will learn things by doing them little by little.

2. Be open and willing to learn 

Ask lots of questions. Be interested in learning as much as you can from your boss and your coworkers. The only way you are going to learn everything is by doing things and by asking questions. Don’t sit and wait for people to just teach you things. Be proactive and intentional in your work and your learning and use your resources.

3. Relax!

Your boss does not expect you to know everything. They realize that you just graduated and they have been where you are so they understand more than you know. My boss and my coworkers shared with me what their very first day looked like and it was very similar to what I was going through. So try to relax and enjoy the fact that you love what you do ( assuming you do.)

4. Give yourself time

Give yourself time to learn. It won’t happen in one day or even a week or a month. Give yourself time and if you make mistakes, learn from them and fix them. Like I said before, no one expects you to be perfect at doing your job the day you start. All of this comes with experience that you are in the process of getting. Little by little you will find yourself being more comfortable at doing your job.

5. Form relationships

Be friendly and socialize with your coworkers. You guys are part of a team and honestly, the learning will start with your peers because they have been there before you and know a lot. Ask them questions, befriend them, and create the perfect work atmosphere because it will make your life easier.

If you are currently starting a new career, don’t panick, give it time and remember to relax. You got hired for a reason!

Love,

Lori

 

 

 

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I am not here for The Celebration of Dysfunctional “love”

Daily Adventures

I don’t know what it is when it comes to relationships nowadays. I have realized that it’s kind of celebrated, expected or assumed that a Black woman is to be a “ride or die” and put up with countless of non sensical things from her significant other in order to be deemed a good girlfriend/ significant other.

It’s like we have to endure pain and put up with things as if that is supposed to be part of our love stories. As if  Black women are supposed to always be constantly waiting for someone else to get their life together to love them the right way. Don’t get me wrong, I understand that love is sometimes complex so are relationships and so is life and that relationships come with both good and bad, but there has to be a line.

I understand that people make their own decisions and can decide to partake in whatever situations they choose to, but what does not sit well with me is the celebration of Black women being victims in unhealthy toxic relationships as long as the end result is marriage.  As if the unhealthy and toxic magically disappears once vows are exchanged and a ring is put on someone’s finger.

What I am saying is you do not have to accept to participate in struggle love, in “less than” love, in “once in a while” love, and in dysfunctional love because it isn’t Love. No one has to.  Relationships are to be built with God at the center with genuine Mutual love and support. You absolutely do not have to continue the narrative. Abuse, constant pain and enduring does not have to be your love story just because Black women are strong and resilient.

Your story does not have to reside in you constantly breaking your own heart waiting for someone else to finally act right. There are people out there who will love you the right way.  You do not have to carry someone else’s brokenness and dysfunction on your back. Sometimes love is you walking away. It’s also you ackowledging how God values and loves you, and honoring that by loving and protecting yourself from being devalued by others. ( thank you to Angelo G. for reminding me of this)

Love,

Lori

 

 

“I am Waiting on God?”

Daily Adventures

“I am waiting on God” is something I hear people say all the time regarding relationships, careers, and life in general. Putting our complete faith in the Lord is something I admire and something I try on a daily basis to live up to. But, it may be problematic when we use “waiting on God” to justify other things like:

  1. Not Taking Action

Have you ever said yourself or heard people say:” God will close this door if it’s not meant to be?” or “God will give me a sign” etc. though these are not completely wrong all the time, how many times have we allowed these to keep us from acting? I remember hearing a story that went like this:”

“A fellow was stuck on his rooftop in a flood. He was praying to God for help.

Soon a man in a rowboat came by and the fellow shouted to the man on the roof, “Jump in, I can save you.”

The stranded fellow shouted back, “No, it’s OK, I’m praying to God and he is going to save me.”

So the rowboat went on.

Then a motorboat came by. “The fellow in the motorboat shouted, “Jump in, I can save you.”

To this the stranded man said, “No thanks, I’m praying to God and he is going to save me. I have faith.”

So the motorboat went on.

Then a helicopter came by and the pilot shouted down, “Grab this rope and I will lift you to safety.”

To this the stranded man again replied, “No thanks, I’m praying to God and he is going to save me. I have faith.”

So the helicopter reluctantly flew away.

Soon the water rose above the rooftop and the man drowned. He went to Heaven. He finally got his chance to discuss this whole situation with God, at which point he exclaimed, “I had faith in you but you didn’t save me, you let me drown. I don’t understand why!”

To this God replied, “I sent you a rowboat and a motorboat and a helicopter, what more did you expect?” (Source: Here)

Sometimes we are this man. We don’t take action as if we are waiting for God to live for us or to act for us. I know this has also been me. Like “God would have closed this door if it wasn’t meant to be”, or “God will give me a sign” while I am sitting there not using the free will that God gave me to make the decision that aligns with His will. God gave us free will so I doubt that He will live for us.

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” Matthew 7:7 

Faith is also based on actions. If you are not asking, seeking, knocking like the verse says, you are blocking your own blessings by not claiming what God meant to do for you to begin with just like the man who was waiting to be saved, but never acted on it.

2. Not taking responsibility

Just like the man who drowned and ended up saying how God didn’t save him, sometimes we use this as an excuse to not take responsibility for us not acting or for not doing. God calls us to trust Him with everything, to give everything to Him, but He also calls us to act, to make decisions that will lead us to where He wants us to be. Faith is not passivity. Our relationship with God in my opinion should be a two-way street where we also act when we are called to do so instead of letting our fears or insecurities have us expect God to literally move us.

This got me thinking about any areas in my life where God is waiting for me to act on. Whether it be through my love life, career, academics etc. What about you? Any areas in your life you need to faithfully act on?

 

Love,

Lori

I did ‘Something New’ Every Day for Three Weeks: Here’s What Happened

Daily Adventures

 

Routine has always made me feel stuck or just plain annoyed; so to spice things up a bit, I decided to do something new every day. One new thing each day for a couple of weeks. Little did I know that it would last three weeks and still going on today.  It went from simple things like eating a different dish to stepping out of my comfort zone and talking to strangers. This is definitely something I will keep on doing every time I seem to fall in a monotonous life. Here’s what happened:

  1. I found new places

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From taking a different way home or a different bus or just walking around, I found different  locations for photo shoots (I’ll even post about them, if you are living in Gainesville it could help you out). I couldn’t believe I had missed them before!  I also found a new Pizza place that I intend to try as soon as I am able to because pizza is life!

       2. I met new People

I got lost taking a new bus to work. It ended up working out because I saw some places I had never seen before and I met someone new on the way. This guy who was on the bus helped me find my way. I also had tea with this lady I met while having lunch and ended up learning about her going to medical school, switching her major three times and getting the job she wanted. It was a great conversation about pursuing what you love. Funny enough, during that time where I was looking to do something new, new experiences seemed to follow me around!

3. I discovered new things about myself

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From buying/ making a different dish for lunch/diner, I found out I actually like food I thought I would hate. I also found out that having a full on good conversation with a stranger is something I enjoy. It made me realize that very often we don’t give ourselves the benefit of the doubt because we are too afraid to try new things or we don’t want to get out of our comfort zone to actually give other things or people a chance. I am very mindful so I don’t end up putting my own self in a box.

4. I felt more confident

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Being able to fully choose to do things I had never done before gave me confidence in knowing that I chose to do this so I can only fully assume the consequences or the outcome. I volunteered myself to train another coworker on using a machine I have used before for testing and did well. It was a wonderful experience although I did get rejected a few times if I am keeping it real. I asked a stranger to photograph her and she said no for example. I am currently learning to not take rejection personally by willingly putting myself in situations where I know I will be rejected. I will let you guys know how it goes.

When was the last time you guys did something new and what was it? Let me know in the comments!

Love,

Lori