I have talked about how fear was a big part of my life. I used to be scared of doing so many things and I realized that letting fear taking over is basically not trust in the promises of the Lord. God helped me so much with this by reminding me on a daily basis that Fear is NOT of Him. Letting go of the thoughts and actions that would allow fear to take over me was not easy task. It took time and was a journey, but here is what happened when I finally learned to trust the Lord better. It’s a daily task, but getting there feels amazing.
I am not talking about confidence in myself, but more like confidence in the God I serve. I used to be that shy person who wouldn’t talk even when I had some things to say. That quickly changed. If you know me now, you know I say what I think and I feel strongly about a lot of things and I am no longer afraid to stand up for them. I am no longer afraid to stand up for God, for what I believe in. The most amazing thing is I would walk to places for interviews or to talk to professors/advisors or something like that and I would feel extremely calm. These things used to make me nervous, but it’s no longer the case. I usually would pray before hand and would simply acknowledge that God is right beside me on this and I would walk in feeling confident and would talk normally with no stress whatsoever. I had a scholarship interview this semester and usually I would be a bit stressed before hand even more so that the interviewer is known for not being the kindest of people. I walked in there calm as ever, talked and even made the interviewer laugh! It was a change to my usual one word answers! I am forever grateful to God for always keeping me calm during storms.
2. I no longer care what people think of me
I am sure you can relate. Sometimes we let what others think get in the way of what we know we should do or say. Trusting in God and letting go of fear helped me not only know who I am and who I want to be, but also know who God says I am. Now, I truly don’t care at all what people think of me. Not in a bad way. Of course I’d take advice or what not, but I mean I will do whatever I want to do that aligns with God’s will with no care in the world of being judged or looked at sideways. I stand for my beliefs whether people are going to like it or not. I stopped wanting to be liked by everyone and I cherish more being appreciated and loved by the right people.
3. I no longer worry
I used to worry about what is going to happen next or what am I going to be doing tomorrow, what if this happens or that etc. That is no longer the case. I mean of course I am not perfect and I would find myself worry about things here and there, but I always make sure I remind myself who my father is. I found myself being totally okay not knowing what is going to happen next for me because I know God has a plan and I recall that in the past even when I didn’t understand His plans, they eventually made sense when the time was right. 2016 has been so far a total leap year for me about stepping out in faith, what I am going to be doing, where I will be and things like that, and I found myself enjoying it! Even worst I find it kind of fun lol! I take everything as part of the journey and I sometimes think where is the fun in always knowing and controlling what is next!? I leave all that to God because He has never failed me even when I have failed Him! It’s a journey, but doing my best to trust God has never failed me.
4. I am myself at all times
Trusting God and taking in how He loves me has made me realized that God wants us to be who He created us to be. I believe that God wants us to be ourselves because He made us! So letting go of the fear of being judged or of not being liked or whatever else, I am myself all the time. I love myself more not in a conceited way but more like because God made me. I appreciate every thing about me and that made me appreciate and understand others better. I value my soul just like I value the body I am in by loving all out.
5. I love better
I found myself loving others and understand that means that the other person needs to feel free. Maybe it has to do with the confidence in God, but I am no longer afraid of people leaving me or of trusting others because I believe that God brings people in for a reason and I am always ready to learn the lesson or to open up and love whoever God sends me to love as long as it is His will. I am talking about any kind of love: friendships, relationships, family etc. I have felt myself growing when it comes to understand what it means to love God’s way. Not that I would ever fully understand it but I feel myself loving better and better and I am grateful.
I am sure a lot of other things happened that I have not mentioned, but if you find yourself worrying too much about life or about being liked or what others think of you. Or if you find yourself not being bold enough to claim what God has given you or just too afraid to step out in faith, open your Bible, talk to God, and have a little faith. I promise it’s worth it!